ok, since this doesn't seem to be a very active board and others aren't posting, I guess I will use it as my own personal forum for discussion .... with myself! I would love it if others joined me...we are all on a journey together and sometimes are better able to meet this thing head on and other times, not so much. So, I get that. But, I would still love to have some company!
Anyway....................I realized that my own mom is probably a rescue hoarder. She likes to rescue / fix / repair things. It is a compulsion, in fact.
I can remember us stopping as children at times to retrieve things that others had thrown out on the side of the road. And if we didn't stop, there was the constant commentary about the things others were wasting or that it was perfectly good, or whatever.
I remember going to antique shops...the most boring thing in the world to a kid (I had these adult-oriented parents who were not about amusement parks and such....more about making us kids appreciate adult activities) and looking for pieces of furniture which she could use to then rebuild a new piece of furniture.
The thing is that she actually did fix the objects...she didn't just hoard them, although she does hoard at this point
She simply cannot bear to see things in disrepair in any shape or form. If she is around when I want to throw something out....she won't let me do it....she will take it home and she will actually fix it up and give it back to me. She is so proud of herself.
In fact, when she comes to my house, she can't sit still for very long before she is up, cruising around the house....looking for things to fix. And, you had better believe she will point them out. Then, if you don't fix it immediately, she will just harp on it and counsel you how to fix it until you get up and do something about it. Then, she will stand over your shoulder and guide you every step of the way. Control, much? It is so incessant and constant that I almost dread her coming over. I have sort of gotten used to it, though.
I can tell that she suffers alot of anxiety over this .... if the said thing is not fixed....I guess she thinks something bad will happen. Her thinking is so "black and white". If it is not fixed -- it's bad. And, she can't prioritize. Small, insignificant things are just as important as the big things.
Anyone else have any thoughts or experience with this?
I think this is one reason why I struggeled so much with hoarding and perfectionism myself until finally coming to terms with the root causes of it. This is one of those causes -- the constant "fixing", commentary, criticism, etc. Her way is the only way to fix something. Nobody else measures up. I can't be that way, and have no desire to be that way. But, her constant "fixing" and anxiety caused alot of that in me as well.
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